Simon. The office wanker. He drives you fucking crazy, doesn’t he? The ramblings about his weekend. The million beers he sank. The few hours of sleep he got.

What a legend. 

Or when he takes credit for the work you did. What about when he changed all the headings on your presentation without asking. Such a good bloke. 

Unfortunately for you, you’re stuck with him. So what do you do? You can’t sit there sulking pissed off at the bloke. That’s just going to hinder your work and make you look bad. 

Don’t fret. In today’s edition, we’re breaking down everything you need to know about working with someone you just can’t stand.

Change Your Mindset

What if, for a moment, you were curious about him, not irritated? What if you were intrigued? Why does Simon feel the need to flex his weekend antics? Where’s it actually coming from?

Is it insecurity?

A missing chromosome? 

This mindset shift is key, and while it may be frustrating to read, guess what, it’s what mature adults do. Well, some of them. And if it’s going to help you spend less time fantasizing about knocking him out, then it’s worth trying. 

However, this does not apply to someone acting unethically or mistreating others.

In those cases, you need to either call out the behavior or bring it to a person with the power to address it.

Get Curious

Ask yourself the following:

1. What is it exactly that’s bothering me and why? 

Simon may very well be a complete tosser, but focusing on his specific actions rather than his entire personality will be far more productive and easier to address. 

Why? 

Because he didn’t create the button, he’s just pushing it. 

There’s also a chance that it isn't entirely him. Maybe he reminds you of someone you have a difficult relationship with. Or perhaps he’s working in a role you wish you had. Or, is he just different from you?

Remember, we all have subconsciously biased behaviour toward people who aren’t the same as us, so by separating behaviours from traits, we can identify what may be an unfair stereotype, then set it aside and focus on the actions that are bothering us. 

It’s much easier to change your perspective than it is to ask someone to be a different person. 

2. What do I like about this person?

This can be extremely difficult. Especially with Simon. But, force yourself to consider the question. 

Why? 

Because most people aren’t 100% annoying. 

Simon is a dickhead, yes, but maybe he’s also pretty funny? Or perhaps he has an eagle eye for detail? 

Training yourself to search for the positives in people instead of labeling them with the negatives will benefit you regardless and is a key skill for any future leader. 

3. What if I spent some time with them?

Yes, we know. Why would anyone want to spend more time with Simon than they have to? 

That’s not the point. 

Say you go on a coffee run with him. Yes, you may reaffirm your annoyances, and in that case, you know he just isn’t your kind of guy. 

Or, you get to talking and find out he’s just broken up with his girlfriend of a few years. Or maybe his dad has been putting loads of pressure on him to pursue a career he doesn't want. 

There you go.

You now understand where the irritation is coming from, and dare I say it, can empathize with the bloke a little. Maybe it’s the start of a new friendship you never expected. 

You just never know.

4. Should I just talk to him about it?

Ok, you do not have to do this. But, if you think Simon will be receptive, then it’s an option. 

Grease the gears, then be specific.

If you’re going to critique, make sure you focus on the behaviors and work issues that they can control, otherwise, there’s a chance he’ll feel personally attacked. 

For example, you could lead with something like, “Our working relationship is important to me, and there’s something on my mind.” 

Or...

“I don’t think we’re working together as effectively as we could.” 

It doesn’t have to be awkward and uncomfortable if you do it right.

And if all else fails…

Just ignore him. Eventually, he’ll find someone else to bug. 

That’s it, cya.