Grads often fall into two camps.

They’re either Dr. Jekyll, who works in marketing, enjoys four coffee breaks a day, and leaves the office at 4:50 to go to Pilates, or Mr. Hyde, a finance grad who’s on Excel while you’re asleep and works on Sundays.

This email is for the former; for the salary-recieving-closeted-part-timer who spends their days mindlessly clicking, fighting the urge to play Solitare all day.

Enjoy it while it lasts, but be careful.

Because yes, as a grad, you’re usually invisible, but all it takes is one co-worker realising you do fuck all for your house of cards to come crashing down.

The charade doesn’t maintain itself. You need a plan.

And here it is. The simple three-step process for doing almost nothing while seeming like the hardest worker in the room.

But first, a quick word from this week’s sponsor.

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Step 1: Work

Do your job.

Get your work done first, and do it well.

Use this time to practice being productive for when you’ll inevitably have to be later on in your career.

Order your projects based on their immediate ROI to your team and the company, and then do everything you can to complete them at the highest quality possible.

Leave the least pressing task or project. Don’t do it. This is important.

This isn’t meant to take very long, so there’s no reason why your work should be of poor quality. You’re leveraging the fact that your workload only requires 15-20 hours of focused effort throughout the week.

Step 2: Seek More Work

It’s now Wednesday morning and you’ve finished all your work.

What now?

Ask for more.

Send your manager a quick message and let them know you’re happy to help with anything while you finish your projects.

The last part is key.

They need to know that you’ve still got work to complete.

This is where the magic happens. This is your bat signal.

In their eyes, you’re not only an efficient and effective worker, but a proactive and eager go-getter.

In reality, you’ve almost finished your week’s work and are gearing up for two days of nothing.

Step 3: Rinse and Repeat

By now one of two things have happened.

1. Your manager has taken your offer and has you helping them with some extra work.

In that case, repeat step one and deliver more high-quality work.

Or

2. They don’t need any help, which means you’re ready to kick your feet up.

But what are you gonna do for the rest of the week? You can just do nothing.

Remember that project you left out?

Here’s when you pull it out. Now you can slowly chip away at it between coffee runs and games of Solitare.

That’s it, cya.